The Meaning of Life and Other Vegetables

Comfort is primary. We don’t need to ponder about it a lot; we know it. No, we FEEL it. That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s only about physical sensations – it can be purely emotional, moral, even intellectual.

Actually, comfort is not so easy to pin down. It is more DISCOMFORT that we notice and go by, mostly. We are primarily seeking the lack of discomfort. When discomfort is removed, comfort ensues. If we continue in the same direction a bit more, comfort will typically increase; but only to an extent. If we keep going, at some point comfort might begin to decrease, and may even turn back into discomfort, eventually. For example, imagine you are having a dish and it’s lacking salt. It’s bland. You experience some discomfort. You start to add salt, initially just a little. A bit better; you feel less discomfort, hence more comfort. You keep adding salt, gently, and your comfort keeps increasing. But at some point it becomes too much, your comfort starts to decrease, and if you don’t stop it will eventually turn into clear discomfort.

Next comes contentment. It’s not just about the sensation of comfort; it involves an additional layer of perception, and a (mostly intuitive) gap analysis: The gap between what is, and what “ought to be”. We have some expectations, a sense of how things could, and maybe should, be; so even if we are comfortable (or not uncomfortable) in the moment, there may still be a nagging feeling that there might be “more” for us. Again, that “more” could be material, but is not necessarily. Any perceived gap, any sensation that what is, what’s going on, is not as good as it could/should be, would erode contentment. Perfect contentment is present when the gap is zero.

A zero gap can be approached, and maybe even achieved, in two ways. One is to increase the good / wellness / what we have, or to improve our situation in the direction of our ultimate good (what we desire or feel we deserve). That is the path commonly attempted, and the most obvious example – other than directly addressing physical pain/discomfort – is seeking material gain. The alternative way is to tame the sense of what “ought to be”. If we could truly dial it down closer to what’s actually present, the gap will shrink and contentment will grow, without actually changing the reality of what’s present. Technically this is easier, because it doesn’t require changing anything in the world around us; but mentally it can be very difficult, and maybe that’s why not many try it, and even less succeed in it for more than a short time.

Again: Contentment is the result of an intuitive gap analysis. Most of us are seeking to increase contentment, which is to shrink that gap. If we are lucky, the perceived gap is small to begin with (remember, contentment is all about perception); but what if it’s significant? Shrinking it will require an effort – either the typical exertion we see around – “chasing goals” or “changing the world” – OR the mental “taming of the mind”, “working towards enlightenment” and the likes. We might be very conscious about engaging in either of these options, but regardless, most of us engage in BOTH, to varying degrees over time, often not fully conscious of what we’re doing or trying to achieve.

Either way – I postulate that the “exertion” path, whilst being relevant to contentment (not everlasting; only at points in time), has very little to do with happiness. Happiness is related to the other option – shrinking the contentment gap through mental (you could even insert spiritual here, if it suits your world view) work. As I stated earlier, this is HARD work. Not all of us have the same talent, or skill, or strength, or endurance for undertaking it, and even those who try don’t succeed equally, regardless of intention, time and effort invested.

I’d like to suggest that Happiness is a measure – at a point in time – of the success one is achieving in shrinking the contentment gap through bringing down expectations or adjusting beliefs. This definition has several consequences:

1. Happiness changes through time; the changes can be large and even abrupt.
2. Happiness is potentially available to anyone who tries the mental betterment path.
3. Happiness is NOT available through practical exertion “in the real world”. It is neutral to success AND to failure in that realm.
4. The level of Happiness is not dependent on any external / practical starting conditions (this is well supported by evidence around us).

That list can probably be extended (I might do it over time, as thoughts come up; you can add to it too). Regardless, I feel that it’s a solid starting point. I feel it indicates I’m onto something here. And so, I feel I can wrap up this point.

Meaning, though… How is Meaning related to all of that?

Maybe it isn’t. Not directly, at least. I guess that’s the last point I wanted to make here today, before wrapping up this post. I’ll just note that some deep-thinkers state clearly that Meaning and Happiness are NOT related, and can be (and often are) conflicting, and some even go on to discuss which is more important, and which is the primary goal in life.

I might edit this post later to further speculate where Meaning sits in the model I suggested here today, or write a separate post about it.

I’m also thinking of posting a diagrammatic representation of the ideas I suggested above, for people who think more clearly through visualisation (like me). But that will take me a little time.

In the meantime – peace to all.